My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i think im in europe. pls send help
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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