I'm so fucking centered right now
Where did you get a picture of my penis
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That accounts for only three of the penises
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
