there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
