Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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