OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
pray to the hookup gods
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
