It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
