Farmville is her only friend.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
