Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
