loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
