If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
