Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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