You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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