You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize