Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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