I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
