she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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