hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
