i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
