worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
