i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
