I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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