It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
