i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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