belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
