Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
