i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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