I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
