I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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