I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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