Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
