You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
