Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
