new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
