i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
