drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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