He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
