I got chris browned last night
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
