I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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