seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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