I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
