So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
