stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
