if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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