Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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