they need to just BURY HIM!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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