as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
