i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize