My nipple is on Facebook.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
