Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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