Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
