so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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