Kiss
Puke
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
