you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
