Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
