My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
my poor anus
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
