it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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