i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
