I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize