I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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