the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
