I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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