Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
is that a dick in a sweater?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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