I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
