thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
