Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
