woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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