You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
