The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The best revenge is premature balding
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
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I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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