Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
