Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
