I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
